Completely empty
I’ve felt this emptiness in me, not just today, or yesterday or even in the past week or month, it’s been felt for over 1 year now. It’s not the emptiness you feel when you forgot something at home when you leave for vacation, or when you don’t have your phone on you.. It’s the emptiness you feel when you know something isn’t right, or when you lose someone you care about. That kind of emptiness. We’ve been back and forth, we’ve yelled, we’ve cried, we’ve broken each others hearts way too many times. But yet, whenever I think of kissing someone, or think of laying with someone in a bed and looking into each others eyes.. I think of you. And only you. I flashback in my head us laying on the air mattress that made too much noise late at night, or when we would sneak around just to get time alone.. The way you held my hand, and the way our lips fit perfectly into each others filled that emptiness for a year and a half.. It’s gone, it was taken, ripped and torn away from me.. Not by my choice.. But yours. You lost the feeling I will always have.. You left, you went to someone else who meant more, and still to this day does mean more than I ever did. You chose over me. Like I was never even there. Like I didn’t hold you when you were crying, or when you missed your mom, or when you were hurt from your accident. Like I was just someone who was dramatically in love with you, and who would always be there to come back to. Like a backup, or back burner. I’m sick of being in the back. I hate that you always make me feel.. In the back.. I miss you. I have a constant “miss you feeling” whenever I see you or think about you or talk to you. I just can’t show it..
